Steve fights to keep himself in place. He lets Tony walk away even though ever instinct he has is to protect him. To stop him from having to read the files and feel the pain the truth will bring. He closes his hands into fists blunt nails digging in hard to his palms as he watches, his heart breaking for him.
He doesn't know what to say. Captain America doesn't have a speech for this. Steve Rogers doesn't have any comforting words for his lover. He doesn't know how to help him to make this easier to read or make this easier to realize.
"I'm sorry," Steve says when he finally lets himself move. As badly as he wants to reach out and hold Tony, shield him, he only comes to stand on the opposite side of the table.
He doesn't look down at the files. He doesn't need to. He read them over and over while flying back. Every word and picture is burned into his mind. He knows what they say, the grim words in black and white that spell out the plan and the kill order. It's as boring and dry as any SHIELD debrief ever was. It's just paperwork. It's paperwork.
Two lives gone because someone signed off on a sheet of paper. It hurts and it's senseless. Steve's always hated how it's all just a form and a signature.
"When I found these," he said, his voice somewhere between Steve and Captain America. "We dropped what we were doing. I knew I had to... show you."
The last time they had talked they made dinner plans. Steve was looking forward to dinner at their favorite little Italian place. A shared bottle of wine. Flirting. Sex after in their nice big bed. All that was gone. He'd shattered that the second he got on the elevator to come home with those files.
"Because I love you. Because maybe the bastards that ordered this are still out there. We could go find them." Steve wants to direct that anger somewhere else and not at the person who was forced, against his will, to kill the Starks. Steve really doesn't want Bucky in Tony's sights. It's a terrifying thought. His best friend and his lover... how the hell was he supposed to make the right choice there?
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He doesn't know what to say. Captain America doesn't have a speech for this. Steve Rogers doesn't have any comforting words for his lover. He doesn't know how to help him to make this easier to read or make this easier to realize.
"I'm sorry," Steve says when he finally lets himself move. As badly as he wants to reach out and hold Tony, shield him, he only comes to stand on the opposite side of the table.
He doesn't look down at the files. He doesn't need to. He read them over and over while flying back. Every word and picture is burned into his mind. He knows what they say, the grim words in black and white that spell out the plan and the kill order. It's as boring and dry as any SHIELD debrief ever was. It's just paperwork. It's paperwork.
Two lives gone because someone signed off on a sheet of paper. It hurts and it's senseless. Steve's always hated how it's all just a form and a signature.
"When I found these," he said, his voice somewhere between Steve and Captain America. "We dropped what we were doing. I knew I had to... show you."
The last time they had talked they made dinner plans. Steve was looking forward to dinner at their favorite little Italian place. A shared bottle of wine. Flirting. Sex after in their nice big bed. All that was gone. He'd shattered that the second he got on the elevator to come home with those files.
"Because I love you. Because maybe the bastards that ordered this are still out there. We could go find them." Steve wants to direct that anger somewhere else and not at the person who was forced, against his will, to kill the Starks. Steve really doesn't want Bucky in Tony's sights. It's a terrifying thought. His best friend and his lover... how the hell was he supposed to make the right choice there?